Level Up!!!!!

A very special congratulatory message for Sylvia. Since you have officially reached level 16, AWESOME!!!!!! Complete with a haircut at that. It's like the evolution of Awesome. What new tricks will you come up with this year? Don't tell us, even if you know. Surprises are always a good thing. From you. Hoooray!


(The lameness of this post has to do completely with the fact that I am old and drained of energy. It has nothing to do with a lack of enthusiasm for you leveling up. Rock on Sylvanicus. Rock ON!!!!!)

Awesome Force 2: The Great Snowman War of They Didn't Use Numbers For Years, Yet!!!

One Converse in front the other, Sylvia made her way through the snow. Her skinny jeans were soaking up melted snow and making a trail up the pant legs. How her fleece kept her warm, only Sylvia knows, but it did. Awesome bands on either wrist (to help soak up the awesome, duh) helped keep her wrists warm and the blood flowing towards her fingers.

Thumbs were moving a mile a minute as she was typing upon her LG Ally. Whatever it was she was writing, it must have been important because she couldn't hear the commotion all about her.

Snowmen were yelling at the children to move faster and get to the field where they would produce more snowmen. Oblivious to the noise for she had Bring Me The Horizon blaring on her Ipod, Sylvia took her time, unaware she was walking in the general direction of the crowd. She had simply gone out for a walk to clear her mind. She had no idea that she had just been captured by the snowmen.

"What's wrong with you? You hard of hearing or do you want to suffer at the hands of Lord Glittercheeks!", screamed a snowman at Sylvia. She replied with a yeah, ok, before looking up and saying, "Wait, what?"

All around her were children being pelted with snowballs. Snowballs are the snowman's primary weapon. Say what you will about them being ineffective, but twenty to the face and you'll do anything to stop the cold burn. And don't forget, the snowmen were particularly cruel. They'd cover ice in snow and toss it at you.

As she walked on looking all about her, Sylvia realized that things were bad and about to get worse. What she needed was a plan, but Awesome can't be rushed. Her biggest regret, she didn't bring gloves.

Wham! An iceball covered in snow smacked Sylvia straight across the face. Stunned, she wiped the ice and snow from off her face before bending over and picking up her LG Ally and Ipod. Both had been jarred from her person as the force of impact spun her around. "Who the hell just threw that?" asked Sylvia as she turned to the facing crowd.

Children had stopped walking around her waiting to see what would happen next. Snowmen started to move in with more iceballs covered in snow in their branches for hands.

"I threw it! Stupid child! There's more of that waiting for you if you don't hurry up to the field and make snowmen!" cried the nefarious snowman who had thrown the iceball covered in snow.

Pushing through the crowd Sylvia made her way over to the snowman. Being shorter than she was, Sylvia leaned over to the snowman and asked, "Why would you do that? It hurts. Jerk. Ass-face."

A collective gasp released from the crowd of children and snowmen alike, at once and in unison. The nefarious snowman's eyes blazed with anger as he stared Sylvia down. Sylvia, who stood calm and cool as ever, as though nothing more than slightly annoying had even happened, just cleared her throat with two quick and silent coughs.

A branch for hand swung in the air and smacked her across the face. "What the hell?  How do you like it?" asked Sylvia and she slapped the snowman. Angry at the infidelity of the child that should be cowering in fear, the nefarious snowman decided to try and make an example out of her. He ordered for more snowmen to come over and grab a hold of Sylvia. They did.

Sylvia did the only thing she could do. Drop to the ground and spin so that she would slither out of their collective grasp. This infurated the snowmen, who had falled down with her, because snowmen can't get up easily once they've been knocked down.

"CRUSH THEIR HEADS!" cried out a scared little girl. Sylvia thought about this for a few minutes. Seriously, snowmen have a hard time getting up. Then she decided to start squashing snowman noggins. She killed five of them before they even knew what was happening.

General panic started to fill the snowmen in the field. Children started cheering as they realized that Sylvia might be able to free them from the Snowmen at long last. A few brave snowmen tried to attack her, but she lifted up those long legs and kicked out at their heads, crushing the ones that hadn't been damaged enough by the fall.

At this point the children started to try and push the snowmen towards Sylvia so that she could annihilate them one by one. All exept one. Nathaniel Wilburn was doing his due diligence to make his way out of the crowd unnoticed. In exchange for hidden freedom that the other children didn't know about, Nathaniel became Glittercheeks' spy. He was most loyal to Glittercheeks who punished anyone that picked on Nathaniel.

Nathaniel had two functions for Glittercheeks. One was that he intercepted messages about children trying to revolt and passed the information on to Glittercheeks who would quell the revolt before it could take place. The other was to keep an eye out for other snowmen that might challenge Glittercheeks for control of all Snowmanity. But here was a tall child who was willing to lead a revolt. Nathaniel knew that he had to make his way to Glittercheeks, and so he ran through the snow as fast as his little feet would let him.

Sylvia stood back in the snow surrounded by cheering children and frantic snowmen. The snowmen were moving away quickly and in a panic. As some fell, the children next to them would squash their heads. Assuming the whole matter was over, Sylvia put her headphones back on, blared Bring Me The Horizon and made her way towards a thicket of woods.

 

Awesome Force Part 3 Teaser: The Callithumpian Cometh! --> 

<--Awesome Force Part 1: Snowmen!!!!!

When Awesome Gets Sick.

Even Awesome gets sick. Unfortunaetely, Sylvia is a bit sick these days. We here at Bring Me The Sylvia are sending out our wishes that she gets better A.S.A.P. Honestly, how are random concerts going to break out if she is bed ridden? Who will make loads upon loads of awesomeness? And who will rush to her side to help her feel better and be a power friend? It could be you. Get on it.

So, Sylvia, what you see above is Akamu Konani. He's the Awesome Hawaiian Whale Immune System Fairy. Those birds carrying him are his posse. They're on their way to you to help boost your immune system. He calls them Vitamin Seas. I think, I can't understand what he says. So feel better, like now.

The Fifteen Fathoms Aquarium!

It is with great honor and pleasure that we here at Bring Me The Sylvia officially dedicate the cyber-aquarium to none other than Syliva herself. Yesteray was Valentine's Day, or make up for treating your loved one like dirt the rest of the year day. Today, is Fifteen Fathoms Day!

In honor of Sylvia and her general Awesomenity, the Fifteen Fathoms Cyber-Aquarium has been fitted with black water, and five cyber-fish. The fish are Oli Pykes (white), Eel Malia (green), Seamat Kean (blue), Matt Mackerels (yellow), and Piranha Weinhofen (red).

Feed the fish at your discretion for they can never eat too much. Do so with the thought of how awesome Sylvia is. May you have a very happy Fifteen Fathoms Day!

Sylvia Rocks Awesome!!!!!!

Sylvia decided to go down to The Webster Theater, and an Escape the Fate concert broke out. Who knew?
But Sylvia rocked with an aura of Awesome that not only wrangled the mosh pit, but withstood the Wall of Death. If you don't know what a Wall of Death is, you lose. Next time be there, fool!

Awesome angle!!!!!

Craig Mabbit says hi.

TJ Awesome? I didn't catch his whole name. But he's the stand-in bassist.

Robert Ortiz!!!!!!! Doing his best Animal impression.

And the sickest guy there: Bryan "Monte" Money. His guitaring is album quality. At a concert that's good.

If you missed it, tough. Follow Sylvia around. You never know when another one might just happen again.


For more details check out survivingthegoldenage.com

It's Been a Few Days

But Sylvia is still more awesome than the picture taken when Darth Vader met Elvis Presley. How awesome is that?  This awesome. But Sylvia is still more awesome.

Sylvia Makes Awesomeness!!!!

Earlier this week I celebrated something. To do her part in celebrating that something Sylvia made me a power bracelet.

On the front side, or what I will deem the front side, is a soccer ball. Look.

On the back side is a basketball. Look and see.

And there you have it. It's all about sports. Yet, it's still totally awesome.

Snow

Most people aren't aware that snow is just crystalized awesome that falls from the sky. It cancels school. Think about it. It can have its down side. The last person to blame Sylvia for all the snow woke up to this. Don't tempt her. Evil can be Nice. But Nice can be Diabolical.

I Warned Everyone

I told you via PSA that trying to invent awesomeness doesn't work. You didn't listen. Now Sylvia will mock you. Do you feel the mocking? Aw yeah. You feel the mocking.

13 Days!

13 Days until the aquarium gets cristened. Be there or be square.

Bring Me The Sylvia PSA

Some people may be jealous of Sylvia and her awesomeness. They, too, want awesome abilities. Science may provide one with an opportunity to create pseudo-awesomeness, but it just isn't the same. Look at the fishbowl helmet. Don't be the fishbowl helmet. You're better than that.

14 Days!!!

14 Days until we dedicate the 15 Fathoms aquarium to noneother than Sylvia herself. Be there, or miss out.

Aquatic Mammal High Five

Fist bumps with Sylvia are like Aquatic Mammal High Fives. They explode from nowhere and are totally Awesome!!!! Also, one or both parties fall in water. Awesome has a balance issue.