Awesome Force 2: The Great Snowman War of They Didn't Use Numbers For Years, Yet!!!

One Converse in front the other, Sylvia made her way through the snow. Her skinny jeans were soaking up melted snow and making a trail up the pant legs. How her fleece kept her warm, only Sylvia knows, but it did. Awesome bands on either wrist (to help soak up the awesome, duh) helped keep her wrists warm and the blood flowing towards her fingers.

Thumbs were moving a mile a minute as she was typing upon her LG Ally. Whatever it was she was writing, it must have been important because she couldn't hear the commotion all about her.

Snowmen were yelling at the children to move faster and get to the field where they would produce more snowmen. Oblivious to the noise for she had Bring Me The Horizon blaring on her Ipod, Sylvia took her time, unaware she was walking in the general direction of the crowd. She had simply gone out for a walk to clear her mind. She had no idea that she had just been captured by the snowmen.

"What's wrong with you? You hard of hearing or do you want to suffer at the hands of Lord Glittercheeks!", screamed a snowman at Sylvia. She replied with a yeah, ok, before looking up and saying, "Wait, what?"

All around her were children being pelted with snowballs. Snowballs are the snowman's primary weapon. Say what you will about them being ineffective, but twenty to the face and you'll do anything to stop the cold burn. And don't forget, the snowmen were particularly cruel. They'd cover ice in snow and toss it at you.

As she walked on looking all about her, Sylvia realized that things were bad and about to get worse. What she needed was a plan, but Awesome can't be rushed. Her biggest regret, she didn't bring gloves.

Wham! An iceball covered in snow smacked Sylvia straight across the face. Stunned, she wiped the ice and snow from off her face before bending over and picking up her LG Ally and Ipod. Both had been jarred from her person as the force of impact spun her around. "Who the hell just threw that?" asked Sylvia as she turned to the facing crowd.

Children had stopped walking around her waiting to see what would happen next. Snowmen started to move in with more iceballs covered in snow in their branches for hands.

"I threw it! Stupid child! There's more of that waiting for you if you don't hurry up to the field and make snowmen!" cried the nefarious snowman who had thrown the iceball covered in snow.

Pushing through the crowd Sylvia made her way over to the snowman. Being shorter than she was, Sylvia leaned over to the snowman and asked, "Why would you do that? It hurts. Jerk. Ass-face."

A collective gasp released from the crowd of children and snowmen alike, at once and in unison. The nefarious snowman's eyes blazed with anger as he stared Sylvia down. Sylvia, who stood calm and cool as ever, as though nothing more than slightly annoying had even happened, just cleared her throat with two quick and silent coughs.

A branch for hand swung in the air and smacked her across the face. "What the hell?  How do you like it?" asked Sylvia and she slapped the snowman. Angry at the infidelity of the child that should be cowering in fear, the nefarious snowman decided to try and make an example out of her. He ordered for more snowmen to come over and grab a hold of Sylvia. They did.

Sylvia did the only thing she could do. Drop to the ground and spin so that she would slither out of their collective grasp. This infurated the snowmen, who had falled down with her, because snowmen can't get up easily once they've been knocked down.

"CRUSH THEIR HEADS!" cried out a scared little girl. Sylvia thought about this for a few minutes. Seriously, snowmen have a hard time getting up. Then she decided to start squashing snowman noggins. She killed five of them before they even knew what was happening.

General panic started to fill the snowmen in the field. Children started cheering as they realized that Sylvia might be able to free them from the Snowmen at long last. A few brave snowmen tried to attack her, but she lifted up those long legs and kicked out at their heads, crushing the ones that hadn't been damaged enough by the fall.

At this point the children started to try and push the snowmen towards Sylvia so that she could annihilate them one by one. All exept one. Nathaniel Wilburn was doing his due diligence to make his way out of the crowd unnoticed. In exchange for hidden freedom that the other children didn't know about, Nathaniel became Glittercheeks' spy. He was most loyal to Glittercheeks who punished anyone that picked on Nathaniel.

Nathaniel had two functions for Glittercheeks. One was that he intercepted messages about children trying to revolt and passed the information on to Glittercheeks who would quell the revolt before it could take place. The other was to keep an eye out for other snowmen that might challenge Glittercheeks for control of all Snowmanity. But here was a tall child who was willing to lead a revolt. Nathaniel knew that he had to make his way to Glittercheeks, and so he ran through the snow as fast as his little feet would let him.

Sylvia stood back in the snow surrounded by cheering children and frantic snowmen. The snowmen were moving away quickly and in a panic. As some fell, the children next to them would squash their heads. Assuming the whole matter was over, Sylvia put her headphones back on, blared Bring Me The Horizon and made her way towards a thicket of woods.

 

Awesome Force Part 3 Teaser: The Callithumpian Cometh! --> 

<--Awesome Force Part 1: Snowmen!!!!!

Awesome Force Part 1: Snowmen!!!!!

It's a little known fact that back in the day the snowmen ruled the planet. Incapable of self replicating they enlsaved all the children of the world to roll snow all day and make more snowmen. In this way, the snowmen multiplied to gargantuan numbers.

Without a true leader, chaos draped the world as snowmen ran in packs, called Avalanches,  trying to stave off the thaw of sunny days. Snowman politics dictates that the biggest snowman is the best. Children are short, and when you don't feed them they refuse to grow. The first snowmen were all only a few feet tall.

Glittercheeks Snowfrost was a wee little snowman. Smallest in stature of his Avalanche, Glittercheeks was most ambitious. Understudy to his Avalanche's doctor, for snowmen had doctors too, Glittercheeks assisted in the first Snowman Transplant.

Dr. Sparklenose Sunfluff worked tirelessly to save dying snowmen who started to thaw. The procedure he invented was easy. Get the children to roll a ball of snow equal in size to the part of the snowman that was melting. Then a group of snowmen would just shuffle the segments around until the snowman was complete again.

Perhaps this wasn't a difficult solution, but you have to remember snowmen don't have brains. And yet, the head kept the snowman alive. You could transplant one or two segments, but if the head goes it's lights out for the snowman.

Glittercheeks realized the brilliance of Dr. Sunfluff's methods but felt it wasn't being utililyzed to maximum capacity. Something was missing. Some tap of advancement that had yet to be opened. Something that could make Glittercheeks the most powerful snowman of all.

One day while observing some children build a snowman, Glittercheeks noticed a group huddled together. Since public gathering by children was forbidden, he set out to disrupt the party and punish whomever was at the center of it.

As he approached, he realized they were whispering. Quietly he made his way to the group listening to them discuss how to fix the snowman. With two segments complete the problem was the order of arrangement. The middle segment had been made too big for the bottom segment. One of the older girls finally said to switch the order by putting the largest segment on the bottom and moving the bottom segment to the middle.

Glittercheeks realized that you didn't have to wait for melting to replace a segment. One could switch segments out at will. This was the equivalent to snowman cosmetic surgery. With this knowledge Glittercheeks set out to become the greatest snowman to ever roll the Earth.

Through a very boring and arduous process Glittercheeks devised a plan to take a small group of children with him to a distant location. To keep the story short, Glittercheeks successfully formed into a megasnowman by way of Nathaniel Wilburn. Young Wilburn was a genious with IQ of ***.  For legal reasons, I'm not allowed to disclose. But let's say it was between 150 and 200.

With Wilburn's help Glittercheeks recieved two new lower segments and was able to roll his head in snow to make it bigger. The process revolved around Wilburn's knowledge of pulleys, ramps, and general mechanical science. Fastening arms out of entire tree brances, Glittercheeks was a new snowman.

He returned and took command of his Avalanche. It seemed as though Winter would never end.

Awesome Force 2: The Great Snowman War of They Didn't Use Numbers For Years, Yet!!! -->

Awesome Force!!!!!

Back in the day there was a group of Super Heros with Super Powers who called themselves the Super Friends. That was nothing but Super Redundant.

Not to be outdone, Sylvia has decided to start her own Super Group. Awesome Force is reserved for those with Awesome powers just like Sylvia. Don't fret mere mortals, you still have a chance to be a Power Friend. But sometimes the world needs more than a Power Friend.

Sylvia's first Awesome Force friend is none other than Mr. Habachi Vacuum Cleaner himself. That's right, it's Kirby.

Stay tuned for the adventures of Awesome Force. Like the story of how Sylvia met Kirby himself.